Footdrill competition was on Saturday, 16th February 2008.
We didnt win. (But we tried so hard)
Maybe its because of me.
I cant be sure after what happened.
As much as i try to, i cant forget either.
Because the cut is too deep.
Anyway, thanks for all the other people who was trying to console me that day.
Though i cant say that it help, u made me smile again.
And its no one's fault.
I was just shocked and hurt.
It was my disregard for the people at the back of my line who had to follow my uneven pace.
But the way you said it, couldnt you be a little more tactful?
I tried to do my best.
I tried to repress my feelings.
But when the words replayed again and again in my head,
And someone asked me what was wrong,
I could hold back my emotions any longer.
I'm sorry.
I feel tired.
Of having to live under this facade.
I've changed so much.
I don't even recognize myself anymore.
Sometimes i wish i were still in Primary 1.
When my best friend would write letters to me.
I wish she were here with me.
She would never let anyone hurt me.
Like she always would.
Even when we were both only in Primary 1.
She always protected me.
I should never have given up her friendship.
Even when we were in different classes.
Because she taught me so many things.
I really miss her a lot.
And thank you Ruth for always being able to notice when i am depressed and cheering me up.
Thank you Siti Sarah, Wen Qian and Charissa for making me happy too.
And of course the footdrill comp sec 2s and 3s who consoled me when i teared.
And finally, my levelmates who are always there for me.
I am really sorry if this post is really boring.
Sometimes i just rant and rant and dont know when to stop.
I'll just try to let go.
Sorry again for this boring post.
Goodbye,
Aquamarine
i tried to hold it all together but with one word, it all fell apart.